Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Another year has gone away, getting older and older as time may go, yst was suppose to be a glorious and happy day, but somehow the happiness was not what it seems, i thought the were more than what i had, all this time i've been busy making others happy, but when it comes to mine, i never got to have happiness, others just left me aside, and to spend my days in lonely slumber, yst was suppose to be a special day but it went as another bored day as normal as the other days. Still i dont belong in this world or place, still searching for my true place of belonging, doing for others was great especially when they smile and laugh at the end, but for yst i thought there were something planed up but, it was just a side thought of my own, maybe i wish for something that will nvr ever happen...I already know i dont belong yet my heart still hope that i have a place right here in this place, my heart still hope for a little miracle, but the truth were harsher than anything else, there was nothing special about that day, it was just another day...If i were to make a wish and it comes true, disaster will be bought to the world like there is no tmr...Everyone just forgotten that i existed as my presence was but an air, nothing more, nothing less...I guess it would be better if i left after all...thus now it is farewell, where my fate brings me i do not know, but i do hope that my fate bring an end to this miserable life...thats all that i wish for this special day!
Light Of Life 1:23 AM
There is no true meaning to life, but there is however and understanding to it. To understand life, one must be part of it, only then can u really get to know the true meaning. Being wondering along this world, meeting different people and different walk of life, thus still not able to find a place of belonging, things were well at the start but as time goes on, you would just know that you just do not belong. I have been longing to find a sense of belonging, a place where i can always return to when i'm lost, or when in need. There is a saying which is quite well known "The strongest person, is somehow the one who needs to be protected and the weakest." Many people dont understand as they are the one who are being protected, what of the protector? How does he feel? The protector will always say this when his alone, "If i protect the others, then who will protect me? Who will there by my side when im in need?" I felt like giving up every time i think about this, if i keep on helping, protecting people, then what about me, who will save me, who will be the one protecting me, im weak im not as strong as people think i m, i always needed someone beside me but no one was there, im walking a deserted path with led to nothingness, the world rejects me, the people rejects me and sadly the nature rejects me, no matter where i go or where i reach this will still keep happening...
Light Of Life 1:23 AM
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Awhile has past and i have learn alot of things, judging from life and everything else about the world, being with my family of friends, make me realize that i really want to protect them from every single harm in the way, although they are matured ppl, but still being the 2nd oldest in the group i can feel the responsibility on my chest, piling on whatever happens to them i will blame myself for it, as they are all like a family to me, the first of my friends that i really consider a family, they were there for me when i needed them the most, and i made a promise to myself that i will protect them from any harm, i will protect their tears, i will protect their happiness, and i will protect their life...Even if it means me sacrificing my own happiness, my own tears and my own life, they are valuable to me, too valuable that if anything were to happen to them, i dont think i can just let it go like that, im just too attach to be able to let go, they are already part of my life, part of me, without them i will be incomplete, they made me a whole, and i will help them each find their own happiness, and also to success in life, i dont care if i were to get injured or die mid-way the main thing is their happiness is more important that mine, i will do anything! ^^
Light Of Life 1:57 AM
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Although all this while, I have been thinking that i have fulfilled all the things that I want in this life, but still I ended up wrong, there is still one thing left that I regret all this while its been in the bottom of my heart that I did not even notice all this while, and that is, the missing piece in my life, the broken puzzle in my life, the final piece to complete my life's puzzle.
Actually, when I really thing about it I have not been doing that all this while, I have missed out an important part, and so here it is, Dear Friends, Family and Parents, THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING A PART IN MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU GUYS I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND BACK MY REAL SELF, WITHOUT YOU ALL I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONTINUE LIVING, WITHOUT YOU ALL I WONT HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE, WITHOUT YOU ALL I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE TRUE MEANING OF BOND AND FRIENDSHIP, SO THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING A VITAL PART IN MY LIFE, GUIDING ME STEP BY STEP THROUGH A LONG HARD JOURNEY, EVERYTHING THAT YOU ALL HAVE DONE FOR ME, I REALLY REALLY REALLY APPRECIATES THEM A LOT, ALL THE PRESENTS I RECEIVE, THEY ARE MY TREASURE, AGAIN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING IN MY LIFE *BOW*!
After saying all this, I can finally be at peace, and all my burden finally release, if ever i were to go on first before you, just note that I am in a place where everyone is always happy and smiling, saying this it means that in LIFE I have already found my true happiness and so I have no regrets, as I will always be happy! ^^,
THANK YOU, IZZDIN ^^
Light Of Life 1:35 AM
Monday, July 19, 2010
Even though many times i said that i had forgotten about u, well its a lie..the feelings were still there, never fading but still, i will take my stand and let u go, i will not let those feelings linger anymore, im about to break apart not knowing what to do, Yes i DO LOVE YOU!, my heart says it so, every time being near to u my heart shivers, and my body tingle of excitement, being close to me make me happy, seeing ur smile make my day brighter, though this has got to change those feelings may still be in my heart but u will never be, i am grateful enough that u be my friend and that we can have fun outside with the others, but seeing u in this dire state made me realize that i have done what i can and no matter what i do the result will stay the same, so this is my final answer, I WILL ERASE ALL THE FEELINGS I HAVE FOR YOU! BUT IN RETURN I WILL HELP YOU FIND YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS, THOUGH I MAY NOT KNOW HOW, BUT SOMEHOW FATE WILL LEAD ME ON THE RIGHT PATH AS IT ALWAYS HAVE!! YOU HAPPINESS IS MY HAPPINESS!!!
SO STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AND SMILE AS IT WILL ALSO BRING HAPPINESS AND JOY TO THE OTHERS! ^^
Light Of Life 1:41 AM
Friday, February 19, 2010
Always i have been thinking, why was i born? why was my purpose in being born? what am i?...all this questions are always in my head, not knowing what the answer is leaving a life full of mysteries that even my friends dont know of..they still have not seen the real side of me..today is the first time in my life, blurting out the truth about the real me, what people see me is the opposite of the real me, why do i show it, its because of the world itself..i have always wondered why must this world be twisted as it is now than pure from b4, how much have the evolution take place...seeing human always doing their things, the same everyday it is as though humans are being control by someone, never seeing true happiness but instead seeing a fake smile, so the real me sort of a way to bring joy to the world, showing only happiness and hiding the sorrow and hatred within me, bearing all the pain, so that others are able to be happy...Still things isnt enough, through daily life and these years i have been living, i only notice of 1 thing..My existence, the true meaning of my existence, is that i dont belong here, everyday facing people, no one actually acknowledge my existence as it is, i have been treated like air, circulating around never able to find true salvation, although i cant prove that i am what i am, i still have this conscience inside of me saying that its better for me to just go away and leave this world as it is, rather than saving it and be like a nobody in the end, its true i want people to acknowledge me, not as a human but as me..but i doubt that will ever happen..right now my feeling has grown strong, as it tells me to just leave and never coming back, but my heart still says to keep on staying for some more time see how things develop out, and i am following my heart and seeing things even if my heart breaks in the end..im no longer the same me i use to be, and i dont know how long more i have left..Time is but an essence in which you live, never see back to the past but keep looking ahead, meeting people and living life to the fullest until the end of your days. This words are meant to say that fulfilled ur dreams and keep going forward without looking back at ur past even when u make a lot of mistakes, learn from it and move on, never hang onto it, as the memories may scar you even more if it is left hanging...
Light Of Life 8:29 PM
Sunday, June 07, 2009
wow...didnt notice the last post was 2 months back...too old...lol...actually i know but no time to update...haha...so poly life was fun, meet alot of new friends holding different viewpoint of life...haha but hey thats y were humans, we are not the same...haha been really busy with assignments, all the assignment are long-term based and a lil stress but also not...haha but i guess thats poly life and since i'm in the media industry that is what i have to expect in my working life..lol..but seriously poly life is so much more diff than ite or sec..in every single aspect..haha well tmr is exam week but i got test...haha and i haven study wth....lol but its ok im gonna mug all nite long if possible...i'll be giving a speech on 29th June at fairfield sec..haha quite scared but im up for it...i take it as a challenge and to boost my morale and so that others knows me...haha jkjk...but i treat it as a form of interacting with others in the outside world..so im definitely looking forward to it...heez...well actually i got alot more to say but like i always wanted to say, "so many to say, so little time..." haha...well thats about it for now...see ya...ja-ane heez =D
Vathery Akira -Izzdin-
Light Of Life 10:03 PM
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